Just making a post to save the comm and all its incredibly detailed sporkings. I'd hate to have the comm annihilated for inactivity, and LJ is going to start deleting inactivate accounts soon.

Also, communities are considered inactive if they have only one new post with no comments. So please...comment on this post to let LJ know we're still here.

ETA: Huh, LJ edited their announcement. This is what they initially said:

A journal is defined as inactive if it has not been logged into for 24 consecutive months and has only one post (i.e., the welcome post). A community is defined as inactive if has not been updated for 24 consecutive months.

Now it reads:

A journal is defined as inactive if it has not been logged into for 24 consecutive months and has only one post (i.e., the welcome post). A community is defined as inactive if has not been updated for 24 consecutive months and has only one entry and no comments.

The bolded clause wasn't there when I saw their first announcement. I'm guessing there were objections.

Check out this awesome tune!



( Lyrics )

Well, this community is deader than Dumbledore. SIGH.

So, what is a spork anyway?

Apoligies for the unrelated post, but I'd like to invite you to come and donate your snarkasm for the hope of a better nation.
Well, sort of.
I have opened the community  worstfanficeverfor those users like me, who cannot write good sporks, but can definitly find bad fan fic.
It will be run as a series of weekly contests that will be voted on by the members, and the winner gets, er...nothing. Well, maybe a little glory, and a spot on the worst fan fic ever list as the finder of each weeks winner. Also bragging rights for having read the thing. 
I'm getting long winded and again, I apoligize.
Come on over, linking fingers at the ready.

worstfanficever

Chapter One - Dudley Demented (iamsupernova and prozac_fidelus)
Chapter Two - A Peck of Owls (iamsupernova and prozac_fidelus)
Chapter Three - The Advance Guard (the7bells)
Chapter Four - Number Twelve Grimmauld Place fera_festiva and evil_underlord
Chapter Five - The Order of the Phoenix
Chapter Six - The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black prozac_fidelus
Chapter Seven - The Ministry of Magic
Chapter Eight - The Hearing yamievandar
Chapter Nine - The Woes of Mrs. Weasley
Chapter Ten - Luna Lovegood just_dreaming89
Chapter Eleven - The Sorting Hat's New Song
Chapter Twelve - Professor Umbridge
Chapter Thirteen - Detention With Dolores gehayi
Chapter Fourteen - Percy and Padfoot
Chapter Fifteen - The Hogwarts High Inquisitor
Chapter Sixteen - In The Hog's Head
Chapter Seventeen - Educational Decree Number Twenty-Four just_dreaming89
Chapter Eighteen - Dumbledore's Army
Chapter Nineteen - The Lion and the Serpent
Chapter Twenty - Hagrid's Tale (evil_underlord)
Chapter Twenty-One - The Eye of the Snake (siriuslystrange)
Chapter Twenty-Two - St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries (politicalypso)
Chapter Twenty-Three - Christmas on the Closed Ward sarmajere
Chapter Twenty-Four - Occlumency rattyrayvn
Chapter Twenty-Five - The Beetle at Bay fera_festiva and evil_underlord
Chapter Twenty-Six - Seen and Unforeseen margalite
Chapter Twenty-Seven - The Centaur and the Sneak
Chapter Twenty-Eight - Snape's Worst Memory bends
Chapter Twenty-Nine - Career Advice
Chapter Thirty - Grawp (puredeadthingy)
Chapter Thirty-One - O.W.L.S (politicalypso)
Chapter Thirty-Two - Out of the Fire gehayi
Chapter Thirty-Three - Flight and Fight gehayi
Chapter Thirty-Four - The Department of Mysteries tawabids
Chapter Thirty-Five - Beyond the Veil phantomday
Chapter Thirty-Six - The Only One He Ever Feared
Chapter Thirty-Seven - The Lost Prophecy tawabids
Chapter Thirty-Eight - The Second War Begins gehayi

Claim in the comments. This time, the sporkers are required to email me the completed chapter at rebeccatrishel at gmail dot com.

If, for any reason, you can't complete your chapter, comment here to un-claim it.

(Oh, good god, this is going to take forever.)

Now that sporkhpmovie is underway, I'm curious to know who would like to spork OotP? It's my second favorite book of the series, and the other mods have expressed admiration for it, but I can see plenty of sporkable things about it. Harry's CAPSLOCK OF RAGE is surely the father of his chest-monster, and does the last, say, third of the book really make sense? So, don't take this suggestion as a blanket condemnation for the entire book and comment in anger.

Instead, express yourself by voting in this poll!

Poll #782367 OotP
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 128

Would you participate in a spork of "Order of the Phoenix"?

View Answers

Yes! I'd spork a chapter, too.
21 (16.4%)
Yes! I'd read and comment.
77 (60.2%)
Yes, but I'd just read it. If I comment, people will know I have read it and may alert the local authorities.
23 (18.0%)
No. I like OotP and don't want to spork it.
6 (4.7%)
No for some other reason.
1 (0.8%)

Sharpen Your Sporks!

The claiming list for parts in the sporking of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban Movie will be up tomorrow afternoon.

Come on over to sporkhpmovie and join us!


(x-posted bunches of places)

This chapter was a collaboration by gehayi and underlucius

In which we are in danger of being bored to death were it not for a brilliant commentary by Luna, JKR can't tell the difference between various parts of the castle, and Dobby doesn't impress me with his helpfulness.

( SPORK! )

In which Hermione shows how she's NOT the cleverest witch of her age, Scrimgeour shows he can't count to two, and Harry is a selfish git. Again.

( Spork! )

In which Fleur shows class, Tonks makes a scene, Harry is stupid, selfish and insensitive, and we are told repeatedly that Gandalf Rasputin Dumbledore is DEAD.

( Also, there is an abundance of swooning, continuity is deader than James and Lily, and I quote Monty Python. )

In which Dumbledore catches his death of cold, which explains why he suddenly sounds like Darth Vader, JKR can't count to "LOTS" and I accuse Mr Black in the Astronomy Tower with the wand.

( Spork! )

In which Dumbledore and Harry enter the Mines of Moria, Dumbledore drinks poison, the Inferi make an all-too-brief appearance, and our heroes forget nearly every alternative that might possibly have been useful.

( Also, Harry fails completely as a hunter of Horcruxes. )

In which Ginny compares and contrasts tattoos, Trelawney talks about the circumstances surrounding the Prophecy, Harry gets capslocky, and Dumbledore is displeased that, for once, his beliefs aren't being accepted as facts.

( Also, another Tarot card makes an appearance, and we learn something about witches and recycling. )

In which Draco is pwned.

( And Ginny never quite realizes that Harry's crush on her is caused by the alien that's about to burst from his chest. )

In which we finally learn what Horcruxes are, Rowling gets tediously repetitive, Dumbledore continues to make unwarranted assumptions, and Harry fails to grasp the incredibly obvious.

( Also, thanks to a messed up timeline, Lucius behaves illogically, and Voldemort is even more irrational than usual. )

Welcome to the late edition of Chapter 15: The Unbreakable Vow, in which Hermione acts suspiciously Sue, Snape is Snapely, and a vampire is hungry.

In which Hagrid holds a funeral, Slughorn eulogizes a spider, and Harry uses Hagrid's grief and his parents' deaths to get what he wants.

( Also, there are further continuity problems, Slughorn acts in a way that would raise all my suspicions were I a parent, and Harry is ignorant of the contents of one of his textbooks. )

Let’s recap, eh? In this particular section, we come across sleep deprived house-elves, and we are reminded how TERRIBLE Kreacher is. Harry gets jealous of Malfoy, and is making sure no one is screwing his one true love arch-nemesis, while Ron is a sexist pig.

( To the really awkwardly named chapter! )

( Read more... )

In which Tom Riddle stars in "Antiques Roadshow," a house elf is convicted of committing murder by mistake, Dumbledore holds a job interview, and Barbara Cartland has a cameo.

( Also, Harry's chest monster and a transgendered minion make appearances. )

In which Ron and Hermione are annoying and Harry learns that cheats prosper.

( It's a cross between a spoon and a fork! )

In which the Ministry is a bit TOO efficient, Dumbledore becomes shirty when Harry questions him, and we get yet another stellar example of wizarding justice.

( Also, timeline problems continue, and Minerva McGonagall is utterly forgotten. )

In which Lupins is OOC. Some other stuff happens, but I only care about Lupin.

( Also, Ron tries to kill the twins. )

Chapter Fourteen - Felix Felicis

In which Rupert Grint uses Polyjuice to impersonate Ron, things for those Nazi-mother censorers to complain about abound, and Dudley is actually right for once.

In which Dumbledore makes more unfounded assumptions about Merope, attempts to get a woman drunk, hears many unpleasant things which he ignores, and teaches a psychopath how to set fires.

( Dumbledore, what the hell were you smoking? )